Carn Ingli

Carn Ingli Dragon's Back

Here I am on top of Carn Ingli last autumn. Carn Ingli means ‘Mountain of Angels’. It’s the name of the mountain I lived on in Wales.

This poem began as an expression of my magical encounter with the spiritual dimension of Carn Ingli, which occurred gradually during the years of my retreat. Carn Ingli has, for me and for others who have spent deep time there, a holy presence and distinctly feminine energy. I relate to it as ‘she’. And I relate to ‘her’ as Goddess.

Subsequently, meeting Amma and spending time in her ashram, I realised that my experience of Amma was very similar to my encounter with the mountain. The two became one in my imagination and understanding, embodiments of the Goddess here on Earth, and I reworked the poem to incorporate elements of my experience of Amma within the imagery of the holy mountain.

Ultimately, this is a poetic sketch of my ongoing mystical dance with the Divine Feminine:

 

A dragon’s back
Vast as space,
Alone amidst the diamond dust of worlds.

Dangerous,
Mysterious,
Self-shaping
And luminously dark,

She is the black of all colours,
Pixelated rainbows scintillating through the void.

Wise as Time,
Everywhere awake,
She is the vital substance
Of every dream.

An Iceberg of fire
Standing ablaze
Inside the sky,
With the sky inside her,

She is made of pure solidified light,
This woman before me,
This Mountain of Angels.

She is made of love.

I bow down before the holy mountain,
Divine body of the Infinite.

I walk her shining pathways.

My bare feet caress her skin,
Kindling with the holy fire
Until my body burns and flares,
Ecstasy rising like smoke.

The world dissolves,
And with it
All gravity,
All causation.

Flying now
Without wings.
Falling
Without end.
Like music,
Having neither inside nor outside.

I lay my bones gently down upon the mountainside.
My flesh becomes moss, heather, bilberry bushes.
My eyes become ravens,
My mind, the sky.

Within the bluestones, silence.
Within the silence, moonlight.

Dancing without moving,
My heart becomes a city of light.
At its centre
I disappear.

Where I end
Begins the mystery.

Closer than breath,
Closer than light and thought,

There before the beginning
Of both day
And night.

Where I end begins the mountain,
These words just mountain mist
Gathering in the constant dawn.


 

Love

Love falls as rain.
Love shines as sunlight.
Love is molten stardust
Solidifying into Earth.

Love flows through our eyes
Both ways,
Illuminating the world.

Love dances in rainbow flashes.
Love sleeps in stones.
Love sings in the moonlight
And whispers in the silence.

Love moves through our muscles like a dancer,
Through our dreams like a child.
Love leaps through our hearts
Like a deer in the dawn-lit forest.
And love flies like a hunter’s loosened arrow.

Deep in the jungle
Love grows
Like a vine of wonder
And becomes a serpent
Twined around its divine lover:
It’s own bright half.

What love is,
Night and day,
Day and night,
Is the the two halves of love
United.

—————-

Apogee

A more beautiful world is possible,
He said.

No.

It’s much more than possible:
It’s emerging.

It’s emerging from our opening hearts,
From our quickening reverence for the sacred earth,

From the re-awakening of the divine feminine power,
And from the soul-deep response of the divine masculine
To his eternal beloved,

And from their long-desired reunion.

It’s emerging from the star-seeded glyphs
And poetries
And prophesies
Of the golden age,
Planted long ago
In the fertile soil
Of our multi-dimensional minds,
And which are now unveiling themselves,
Awakening themselves,
Offering themselves to our
Real-time dreams and
Dreamtime visions,
Coalescing into a rainbow bridge
All across the globe.

It’s emerging from our every act of love,
Our every prayer for peace,
Our every gesture
Of divine humility:
The humility of stars
Shining in joy for no other reason than
Excess of light.

It’s emerging from the fissures,
Opening up and widening now,
In the self-dismantling matrix
Of separation.

It’s emerging from beneath and within the shadows of the psyche,
And from forgotten pockets of unbroken wholeness
Scattered across the continents of earth and soul.

It is emerging,
Primarily,
From being itself,
From the cosmic womb
That is emanating our whole universe of experience
Each moment
Anew
And infinite.

A new paradise is emerging upon this our miracle earth.
The dream is transfiguring within and around us.

We can experience it as grace.
We can experience it as divine unfolding.
We can allow ourselves to enter the field of its magic,
Its effortless transformative flow.

Our only job,
Ultimately,
Is to let go
Into what we most truly love,
Into the ways of being,
The relationships,
The environments
And the activities that our souls have a complete and holy “yes” to.

This “yes” is our doorway into Paradise Earth.

This “yes” is the ecstatic response
Of the lover
In her lover’s arms,
A full and effortless embracing of the unique
And infinite possibilities
Of love
In the flowing moment
Of union.

This moment,
This one
Now,
And every moment,
Can be such a moment.

Are we willing to accept this?

No preparation is required.

We don’t need to stand on tiptoes to embrace our divine “yes”.
We don’t need to renounce our deepest desires
For joy,
Fulfilment,
Abundance.
Our “yes” arises from and flows into these desires.

Paradise is our natural state,
Our equilibrium point,
The most deeply sustainable way of life there is.

Paradise is our home,
Our gently beating heart,
Our indigenous, star-lit soul
Fully embodying
Here upon the stardust of Earth’s
Primordial matrix,
A spontaneously self-shaping creation
Of inexhaustible magic.

We stand at a turning point
Between the apogee of global disaster
And the gentle dawning
Of a beauty and grace
Which is beyond our hitherto wildest dreams,

A solstice of destiny.

The awe and wonder at who we are
And the vastness of the transformation that is emerging
Is bringing our hearts to their knees
In excruciating
And blissful
Surrender
To a reality that is at once impossibly magnificent
And as tender-soft and close as breath.

Amidst the wreckage of the disaster
We can allow ourselves to be broken
Open
To a grace and beauty
Of multiversal proportions,
To the unfathomable truth
And infinite goodness that we already are
And have always been,
And to the miracle that is
This
Our
Earth.


‘Apogee’ refers to the highest point in the development of something; a climax or culmination; also, significantly, the point in the orbit of the moon or a satellite at which it is furthest from the earth. In Taoist philosophy, whenever Yin or Yang reach their most extreme expression, their apogee, they naturally and spontaneously begin to transform into their opposite.